Practical Strategies for Developing Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence.

Something I truly believe in and find myself saying all the time is: Self-reflection leads to self-awareness. You absolutely need to look inward, find what you believe, understand how you behave and how those behaviors affect others if you want to be more self-aware.

"It is wisdom to know others; it is enlightenment to know one's self."

Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher

It involves the ability to look inwards, in order to accurately assess your behavior – and the thoughts and feelings that influence it. - Duval and Wicklund, 1970

Self-awareness is a crucial quality for effective leadership. It enables leaders to understand their own strengths and weaknesses, motivations and biases, and how they impact others. When leaders are self-aware, they can make more informed decisions, build stronger relationships, and create a more positive and productive work environment.

Transformational leaders are self-aware it's that simple. Learn more about transformational leadership here.

Self-awareness is a person's ability to monitor their internal and external world.  It means you are conscious of your thoughts and feelings and how you behave as a result. 

Being able to step outside of your immediate reactions and emotions is an important skill.  I like to call it, stepping outside the glass box.  When you open the lid to the glass box, shut it, and then look from the outside at your everyday environment you gain a valuable perspective.

By stepping outside the glass box you can keep from being swept away by your emotions and instead thoughtfully respond to them.  Self-aware people understand their internal experiences and their impact on the experiences of others.

Self-Awareness is one of the most important elements of emotional intellignece.  When you are able to understand and control your own emotions and actions, you are better able to understand how those affect the emotions and actions of others.

As a leader, self-awareness is one of the most important qualities you can have.  There is a strong link between self-awareness and high performance in managers.  You can be a more effective leader when you understand your internal state as well as your team members’ emotions.

What leads you to being more self-aware?

My Top Tips to Help You Build More Self-Awareness:

1. Understand Your Strengths & Weaknesses
2. Lean in with Curiosity - - Ask more questions.
3. Reflect on the Impact You Have
   • Reflect on actions/interactions with others.
4. Ask for Feedback
   • Seek Feedback from Others
5. Pay Attention to Your Emotions
   • Pay Attention to the Emotion of Others
6. Be Mindful of Your Impact on Others

Let's go a bit deeper into each step!

1. Understand your strengths and weaknesses.
   • Knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are has positive, long-term benefits for your career as well as you personal happiness.  Leaders who are self-aware of their strengths are more self-confident and happier overall.
     • When you are aware of your strengths and weakness you have the power to use your strengths intentionally.  You can also be intentional about your growth opportunities.  When you eliminate what you don’t know, you have the humility to ask for help when you need it and increase credibility with your team.
     • TOOLS:
       1. https://www.insight-book.com/quiz
       2. https://strengthsbasedresilience.com/assessments/ssq72
2. Know what you value and believe.
   • Understand your top 5 values and how you behave in relation to those values.  When you behavior and your values are aligned you will come across as authentic and more self-aware.  Aligning your behavior and values will also help you to feel more positive and self-confident.
   •  Self-awareness also gives you a deeper understanding of your own attitudes, opinions, and knowledge.
3. Lean in with Curiosity - - Ask more questions.
   • Whenever you think about how you approach a situation think deeply about whether you are playing a victim or creator. Victim's don't ask question and are powerless to the situations around themselves. Creators lean into situation and ask things like, "How is this happening for me?", "What can I do better?", and "How can I take a step forward?".
   • It doesn't matter whether you are trying to solve a problem or in a general conversation with a co-worker. Lean in with curiosity. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Listen without the intent to respond.
   • Ask more questions. Specifically, ask What and How questions. Not Why or Who, these types of questions point the finger and place people on the defensive. What and how questions put you into action and create empowerment.
4. Reflect on the Impact You Have
   • Take time to think about the impact you have on other people.
   • Introspection is the examination or observation of one's own mental and emotional processes.
   • Humans tend to reflect with a self-serving bias, rather than objectively analyzing situations for abstract learning. To be more efficient, the thought diary should be less of an emotional exercise and more of a fact-finding mission. In other words, leave judgment out of it.
   • TOOLS:
     1. Keep a Journal
        • Journaling can be a great way to track your thoughts and feelings, and to identify patterns in your behavior. Try to write in your journal for at least 10 minutes each day, and pay attention to the things that you write about most often.
5. Ask for Feedback
   • One of the best ways to gain insights into your own behavior is to ask for feedback from others. This could involve talking to your colleagues, friends, and family members, or asking for a formal 360-degree assessment.
   • TOOLS:
     1. Peer Evaluations
        1. Experience and power may be a hindrance to self-awareness (Ostroff, Atwater, & Feinberg, 2004). This is for those leaders out there. Ask your subordinates to rate your leadership skills. When people are at the top, they tend to overestimate their abilities because they don’t have as many opportunities to build external awareness.
6. Pay Attention to Your Emotions
   • What are the situations or people that tend to set you off emotionally? Once you are aware of your emotional triggers, you can start to develop strategies for managing them. This might involve taking some time to calm down before responding to a situation, or practicing mindfulness techniques to help you stay centered.
   • Pay Attention to the Emotion of Others
7. Be Mindful of Your Impact on Others
   • Mindfulness
     1. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. This can help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and to better understand how you are reacting to the world around you. There are many different ways to practice mindfulness, such as meditation, yoga, or simply taking some time each day to focus on your breath.
   • Get out of your comfort zone.
     1. 7. Get out of your comfort zone. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can help you to learn more about yourself and your limitations. This could involve taking on new challenges, meeting new people, or trying new things.
   • Take some time for self-care. 
     1. Self-care is essential for maintaining your mental and physical health. When you are well-rested and feeling good, you will be better able to focus and be present in the moment. This will make it easier to be self-aware and to make informed decisions.